Cham-paggin?

It's been a while since I last posted so this post is going to be long, but will not include Year In Review like Caitlin Nimoy over there because I am lazy. Luckily for you I have forgotten stuff. Again. If you're not used to it by now...

VAGUE SUMMARY OF SOME DAYS

On Monday we met up with Juliette's "aeroplane friend" Louis at Montmartre. We had lunch in the restaurant Deux Moulins, which was in Amelie. And boy are they capitalising on it. Lunch for the three of us cost 140 Australian. And I just had badly microwaved vegetable "casserole." Someone really needs to teach them that pears are not a vegetable. Afterwards we went back to the apartment and played Interactive Qui Veut Gagner Le Million (Who wants to be a Millionaire?) and when that kept stuffing up we watched half of the remake of The Amityville Horror. Now Juliette and I really want to watch the rest but we can't find it. But I totally know the twist.
I went to two museums, Quai Branly, a museum of tribal history, and... another one, which was showing an exhibition of paintings by Anton van Dyck. The Another Museum is one of those old mansions from the Ye Olde Days that audioguides describe as "subtle and refined" but are covered in enough gold leaf and gigantic paintings by Venetian gods-of-art to pay the US Defense budget for a year. On the way back from Quai Branly I bought a packet of green tongue peas and 5 carrots. Mmm. And it snowed too. FRANCE IS TWO UP ON YOU, JESSICA CHARLESWORTH.
Yesterday we went to an ice rink which we later found out was a plastic rink, and no amount of salt baths will ever clear us of the shame. Quotes aside, the ice was synthetic and even the people who knew how to skate were having trouble, so we only stayed about 5 minutes. I didn't fall over though!

For New Years we went to an awesome party at Juliette's friend's house. And god, if Mrs. Smale would have had a field day at the last party, she would have exploded at this one. Actually physically exploded. But I really do not like the taste of alcohol (And it makes you thirsty! What is the point of a drink that makes you thirsty?) so I had my awesome cool rave party glass of water. And Pringles! People kept throwing lightswitch raves downstairs. Lots of fun. It was absolutely freezing cold though; whoever's idea it was to make people wear dresses to parties in effing EUROPE was an idiot. Ye Olde Dressmakers, I'm looking at you. And also whoever invented my stupid, stupid black shoes should probably get shot too. Juliette and her sister looked like friggin' supermodels though.

Being Australian starts the most in-ter-esting conversations:

(English)"Oh, you're Australian? So do you speak really good English, or...?"

"Oh, you're Australian? So what language does you speak? Canadian?"

(English)"Hey, could you take a photo for us? I love America!"
"She's Australian, she understands french"
(More English)"Oh, Australian? I love Barack Obama! Barack Obama is my god!"

And, everyone's favourite drunk french guy who sat down next to me and consistently started edging closer and closer until he eventually had his head on my shoulder. Extract from conversation:
Me: "But I don't get jetlag, so it's OK"
Him: "Don't get what?"
Me: "Jetlag"
Him: "What?"
Me: "Jetlag"
Him: "Jetlad"
Me: "No, jetlag"
Him: "Jetlag."
Me: "Yes."
Him: "What?"
Me: "JETLAG"
Him: "Jetlag?"
Me: "JETLAG!"
Him: "Oh, jetlag! Why didn't you say so?"
Me: "I did. Lots."
Him: "I'm sorry, I'm a bit drunk"

We all got shepherded outside at 5 to midnight for the actual ticking over, but they didn't do a countdown, only showered everyone in champagne. This I was not expecting at all and I happened to be standing in just the right spot to get the majority of it all over me. I was texting my family to say Happy New Year at the time and my text went something along the lines of "Happy French New Year... f***, I have champagne in my EYE"
I've taken a myspace picture of my morning-after hair with the camera on my phone and I'll upload it when I get back. It is quite disgusting.

Speaking of disgusting, I really, really pity whoever had to clean up afterwards.

At about one o'clock I started to get really tired (I was up half the night before, too) which was fixed for about an hour by a phone call from Caitlin, for which I had to lock myself in a bathroom to be able to hear. Halfway through some guy came in and threw purple up in the sink. There were guys playing guitar downstairs which we all listened to, and I closed my eyes to listen like I often do but 10 seconds later had someone patting me on the face telling me in English to "Wake up, you." I told them the proper phrase was "Wake up, Jeff." From then on I played with my phone whenever I started to get tired, which worked to a degree. There were lots of people smoking in the room though. My clothes smell like grandmas.

More things about France I have noticed. You are probably sick of these, but TOO BAD, because my New Year's resolution was that you all have to do what I say.

1. Patriotism. History here is the history of France. Once there was a map of Italy on the board but only for 5 seconds and then it was back to the map of France. People have the Declaration of the Rights of Man hung in their bathroom. Drunk people go on tirades against other countries.
2. Never dance with someone who has a cigarette. I have a burn on my arm and it hurts :(
3. They aaallll do stuff for New Years. No-one stays home to watch the fireworks like half of Australia does.
4. The French have good taste in english music. You don't hear Hotel California, the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, the Rolling Stones, the Beach Boys etc. being played at raves here.
   
5. There is a concert on TV every New Years Day with the Viennese Philharmonic playing lots of Strauss and Radetsky and stuff and little boys dressed up like total tools doing ballet. One of the guys credited in the... er... credits... was called "Will Willerton." This is the world's second best name, the first being Mr. Shenanigans.

--Emma