COLD.

So I am in Normandy now, not Brittany, and it is BLOODY FREEZING COLD. We went to visit an abbey at like 8 o'clock in the morning and it was also BLOODY FREEZING COLD but more so because it was 8 o'clock in the morning and also by the seaside. I love the seaside.

And I remembered some things Katharine and I did on Friday, and will also recount some things from Brittany. I will not recount lots because this post will be too long and Nicola's brain will explode. So! Highlights of Friday That I Haven't Already Told You Guys.
- Walking past the Eiffel Tower and seeing a chicken cross the road. We couldn't catch him to ask him why, though.
- Crossing said road at the same time as some army guys drove past, which sent all the guys selling crappy souvenirs illegally out front skedaddlin'. There were like 50 of them running across the road with arms full of jingling Eiffel Towers, yelling "Bling bling!"
- Random men trying to draw your picture. Their starting line is invariably "BRITISH PERSON!" in a bizarre accent
- Katharine's pole fetish, which entailed her taking photos of me in front of various lightposts and such.

Brittany Things That I Can Remember. Dammit Voldemort.
- Adorable baby! Who speaks adorable baby french! She stole my phone and wandered holding the wrong side to her ear, saying "Coucou?" and babbling in baby language. SO CUTE.
- They put caramel on their bread. CARAMEL, PEOPLES. It is the best thing ever, maybe, except for cough drops.
- I got caramel spread for Christmas. A large jar. It's going straight to my thighs, and no-one else's.
- Devon, they do SO have Lord of the Rings here. It is called Le Seigneur des Anneaux.
- For Emma G: HURDY GURDY PLAYER. I gave him a coin, too! But he was not drunk, er, unfortunately?
- Manon des Sources was on TV last night.

Strange things about France:

Fruit & Veg
They do not eat these things. They are too busy eating pigeons to eat these things. They eat potatoes, and occasionally mandarins, and sometimes they mush lots of vegetables together with salt and eat that. But I remain eternally puzzled as too how they get their 3 serves of fruit and 5 serves of vegetables a day. And what about their 3 serves of dairy? They do not drink milk!

People
THEY DO NOT AGE. Well, most of them do, but there is an alarming number of people here who are 17 or so and look 12. It is highly confusing.

Uno
This they play with points. And you cannot put Draw 2 cards on top of other Draw 2 cards. And they say "Against us!" instead of "Gotcha!" which I find incredibly amusing. AGAINST US.

TV
All their dubbed TV shows are from the 80s. Without exception. Many star David Hasselhoff and Chuck Norris. I saw one last night called Las Vegas which was a crime show with some cops. They weren't very good cops because Somehow and for Some Reason people kept stealing the bodies from the autopsy room. Or burning them.

Alan Rickman
Alan Rickman is extremely hard to recognise without being able to hear his English voice. Caught some of Robin Hood: King of Thieves last night and spent most of it going "Is that Alan Rickman? It IS Alan Rickman! Wait, no it's not. No it is. Or maybe..."

Signs
Signs that say "Learn English today!" in English. These amuse me also.

I am out of phone credit again which is annoying because people keep sending me messages I cannot reply to and also I could not call Caitlin and tell her it was Al-most Christ-mas. Yes, phones are just as annoying as I thought they would be, and no, you cannot have my number. Ringtones are annoying things. My ringtone at the moment is called "Private Eye." I hope no-one calls me as it is annoying. Annoying annoying annoying.

I will add to this later. I should probably let internet-deprived Juliette have a go.